一、小学生的搞笑句子有哪些
1、我有一位好同桌,因调皮,同桌换个女的,不好看,喜欢睡。一次睡时,lz用书遮住嘴,拉起悠扬的鼾声,女同桌懵懂的被请出课堂。
2、有天上课老师提问:小明,如果你有天在森林里看见一只大黑熊你怎么办?小明:我一枪打死它!老师:如果你刚好又没带枪呢?小明:我一刀捅死它!老师:万一你又刚好没带刀呢?小明:哎呀,老师,你到底站熊那边还是站我这边?老师:……
3、老师在课堂上问道:“同学们,你们知道世界上哪里最热吗”,有的说火焰山,有的说非洲,老师点名:“雅联同学,你来说说看?”雅联站起来思考了一会儿:“我觉得应该是东京,因为电视里都说东京热,而且他们都热的不穿衣服。”老师:“……”
4、周末好多试卷,有一个男孩子比较捣蛋。周一交试卷,他一个字没写,也不着急,上课之前,把试卷猛揉,然后撕掉了。上课,老师问:“为什么不交试卷?”他哭的好伤心好伤心:“昨天我不写作业,我妈把我作业撕了,不让我上学了。我今天是偷偷跑出来上学的。”
5、有一天,妈妈在屋内打死一只老鼠,她不愿意让邻居知道,于是告诉小幺儿不要和别人说,因为老鼠是肮脏的。哪知小幺儿却对同学说:“我家有个秘密,肮脏得很,不能告诉你们。”
二、小学生说笑话的句子
请采纳我的问题
1、一个女生前一天晚上得到男朋友的订婚戒指,但竟没有一个同学注意到,令她忿忿不平。到下午大家坐着谈天的时候,她突然站起来大声说:“哎呀,这里真热呀,我看我还是把戒指脱下来吧。”2、女主人把女佣叫到面前问她:“你是否怀孕了?”“是啊!”女佣回道。“亏你还说得出口,你还没有结婚,难道不觉得害羞吗?”女主人再次训。“我为什么要害羞,女主人你自己不也怀孕了吗?”“可是我怀的是我丈夫的!”女主人生气地反驳。“我也是啊!”女佣高兴地附和。3、一个人骑摩托车喜欢反穿衣服,就是把口子在后面扣上,可以挡风。一天他酒后驾驶,翻了,一头栽在路旁。警察赶到:警察甲:好严重的车祸。警察乙:是啊,脑袋都撞到后面去了。警察甲:嗯,还有呼吸,我们帮他把头转回来吧。警察乙:好.....一、二使劲,转回来了。警察甲:嗯,没有呼吸了.......4、在一条七拐八拐的乡村公路上,因为时常发生车祸,所以常常有一些鬼故事发生,有一天晚上,有一个出租车司机看见路边有一个长发披肩,身着白衣的女人向他招手,因为这个司机没有见过鬼,所以大胆的停下来让她上车了,这一路上,司机虽然不信有鬼,心里也毛毛的,所以时常从后视镜看后面的女人,开着开着,突然司机发现那个女人不见了!司机吓了一大跳,赶紧踩了一个刹车!只见那个女人满脸是血,表情狰狞。司机吓的牙直打颤。突然那女人开口了:“你会不会开车啊!我低头系个鞋带你突然一刹车我把鼻子都撞破了……”5、一个病人去看病,医生检查了他,皱着眉头说:“您病得太严重了,恐怕不会活多久了。”病人:“求您告诉我我还能活多久?”医生:“十……”病人着急地问:“十什么?十年??十个月???十天?????”医生:“十,九,八,七,六,五……”6、老师:“你能说一些18世纪科学家共同特点吗?”学生:“能,他们都死了。”7、犀粪蜣和蚊子谈恋爱,蜣问蚊子是做什么工作的,蚊子说:“护士,打针的。”蜣一拍大腿:“缘分呐,我是中药局搓药丸的…”8、一非洲人住在某一宾馆。夜半,起火,不明原因。非洲人见状顾不了那么许多,光着身子就跑出去了。消防员见状惊呼:“我的妈呀!都烧的糊了吧区的了还能跑那么快!”9、一个人想出国考察,但必须得到老总批准。于是他向老总请示,老总给了他一张字条,上面写着:“Go ahead”。那人想:“Go ahead=前进,老总是批准了。”于是他开始打点行李。一个同事见到了他问:“你在做什啊??”他说:“我准备出国考察,老总批准了,给我写了‘Go ahead’。”同事一见条就乐了:“咱们老总根本就没批准!!咱老总的英语水平你还不知道,他这是在说去个头!”10、牧师对买了他马和马车的农夫说:“这匹马只能听懂教会的语言,叫"感谢上帝"它就跑;叫"赞美上帝"它才停下。”农夫将信将疑,他试着喊了一声感谢上帝,那匹马立刻飞奔起来,越跑越快。一只跑到悬崖边上惊恐的农夫才想起让它停下来的口令“赞美上帝”。果然,马停下来了。死里逃生的农夫长出一口气:“感谢上帝………”
我打了很久,请采纳
1 the night before, a girl get boyfriend engagement ring, but no one noticed the classmate, make her antics. You sit and chat in the afternoon, she suddenly stood up and shouted:\"oh, it's really hot in here, I think I'd better take off your ring.\" 2, the mistress called the maid to ask her:\"are you pregnant?\"\"Yes!\" The maid answered. Export\"kui you still say, you are not married, don't you feel shy?\" The hostess training again.\"Why should I be shy, you don't the hostess also pregnant?\"\"But I conceive is my husband!\" The hostess retorted angrily.\"Me too!\" The maid happy to echo. 3, a man riding a motorcycle like the dress, is to cut on the back, can the wind. Drunk driving one day, he turned over, a planted on the road. Police: police a: a good serious car accident. Policeman b: yes, his head hit the back. Po1: well, still breathing, let's help him turn his head back. Po2: good... One, two, turn back. Policeman a: well, not breathing... 4, turn in a curvy country road, because often in a car accident, so often have some ghost story, one night, there's a taxi driver saw the side of the road have a long hair shawls, dressed in a white woman waved to him, because the driver didn't see a ghost, so bold stopped to let her get on the bus, along the way, the driver doesn't believe in ghosts, the in the mind also maomao, so often the woman behind the rearview mirror to see, open open, the driver found the woman suddenly disappeared! The driver startled, hurriedly stepped on a brake! I saw the woman face is blood, grim expression. The driver frighten of teeth chatter. Suddenly the woman spoke:\"would you drive! I bow to fasten shoelaces are you smashed through a sudden brake my nose...\" 5, a patient to see a doctor, the doctor examined him, frowning said:\"you too serious ill, I'm afraid I won't live much longer.\" Patient:\"please tell me how long will I live?\" Doctor:\"ten...\" Patient anxiously asked:\"what? Ten years?? Ten months??? Ten days?????\" Doctor:\"ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five...\" 6, teacher:\"can you say some 18 th-century scientists common characteristics?\" Student:\"yes, they are all dead.\" 7, rhino poop Qiang and mosquito fall in love, Qiang asked a mosquito is to do what work, the mosquito said:\"nurse, give or take an injection.\" Qiang a clap a thigh:\"the fate, I am a traditional Chinese medicine bureau rub pills...\" 8, the africans live in a hotel. In the midnight, a fire, unknown reason. Before rushing so many africans, naked and ran out. Firefighters said exclaimed:\"my mama ah! All paste the burned area can run so fast!\" 9, a person wants to go abroad, but it must be approved by boss. So he to the manager for instructions, the boss gave him a note, it read:\"Go ahead\". The man thought,\"Go ahead= progress, boss is approved.\" So he started to packing. A colleague to see he asked:\"what are you doing?\" He said:\"I'm ready to Go abroad investigation, boss approved, wrote me'Go ahead'.\" Colleague of joy at the sight of article:\"let's boss haven't approved!!!!! Our boss English don't you know, he is said to head!\" 10, priests to buy his horse and carriage of the farmer said,\"this horse can only understand the language of the church, call\" thank god\"it ran; called\" praise god\"it didn't stop.\" Farmer track, he tried to thank god gave a cry, the horse gallop, immediately ran faster and faster. A run to the edge of the cliff frightened farmer remembered that let it stop password\"praise god\". Sure enough, the horse stopped. Close the farmer grows a sigh:\"thank god.........\"
I played for a long time, please
三、小学生传话游戏经典句子搞笑
小学生传话游戏经典搞笑句子如下:
1、朋友是纯真的港湾,是快乐的天堂,是友谊的航母,是心灵的家园。
2、朋友是一道彩虹,无比美丽;朋友是一条小河,永不停息;朋友是一棵青松,四季长青!
3、朋友,是一种关爱,体现在我们的日常生活里,淡淡如水,却深厚如海。
4、朋友如夏天的甘泉,滋润着心灵的大地;朋友如秋天的硕果,丰收着友谊的庄园;朋友又如冬天的白雪,用纯洁来蕴育着新的未来。
5、朋友就像一阵夏日的风,给你带来凉爽;朋友就像一杯冬日的茶,给你带来温暖。
6、朋友就像一汪香甜的清泉,他对你毫无保留,可以让你与他共享他的快乐香甜。
7、朋友,一个可爱而又温暖的字眼,朋友,一个可以陪伴一生的人,想起来多么的温馨,因为有朋友在身边的温暖,再严寒的季节也不会有冷天。
8、朋友,就是雨中的一把伞,时刻温暖和保护着你;朋友是烈日下的一缕风,带来了清凉;朋友是黑暗中的一寸光,充满了希望。
9、朋友是想起时平添喜悦,忆及时更多温柔,朋友如醇酒,味浓而易醉;朋友如花香,淡雅且芬芳。
10、朋友是香甜的美酒,浓郁散发着馨香,可以豪饮却不让你醉。朋友是淡雅的花香,芬芳而绚丽,是生命中一道亮丽的风景线。
11、朋友就像是夜空里的星星和月亮,彼此光照,彼此星辉;彼此鼓励、彼此相望。朋友也就是镶嵌在默默的关爱中,不一定要日日相见,永存的是心心相通。
12、朋友是一粒种子,虽然微不足道,却能生出一片新绿;朋友是一把钥匙,助你无尽的友爱;朋友是是一服感化剂,能感化人间的铁石心肠、冷酷面孔和心灰意冷。
13、朋友是一缕金色的阳光,照亮你的整个世界;朋友是一阵和煦的春风,拂去你满身的疲惫;朋友就是这样的一个人,他时时刻刻都愿分享你的欢乐,每分每秒都愿分担你的痛苦。
14、朋友就像一抹彩虹,染饰了我们的生活;朋友就像一座火炉,温暖了我们的人生!
15、朋友是纯香的鲜蜜,是上口的茶水,是谈笑风声的窗口,是心灵的交融与诚恳的再现,是本色的赞赏与最真的祝福。